Say What You Need to Say

This week is all about communicating. Learning to say what you need to say, because communicating with others is the key to great relationships.

How are your relationships? Do you have a hard time talking with others? Can you get your point across? Is it hard for you to be open and honest? Why do we leave things unsaid?

I’m sure it’s happened to you, because it’s happened to me. Things are left unsaid or said wrong and then the next thing you do is second guess what you said or hold onto hurt feelings or bitterness and then avoidance. We tend to avoid things that cause us pain, don’t we? We don’t want things to be unpleasant or uncomfortable, so we avoid them.

But in order to live life to the fullest, you’ve got to say what you need to say. Life is too short to live with the regrets of things left unsaid. There is no time like the present to reach out and mend a broken relationship from a conversation that went bad.

Just sayin’

I’ll be honest and just say that I was in my thirties when my dad had a heart attack that started us saying “I love you” to each other. I always knew that he loved me but there’s just something about hearing it out loud. I miss hearing him say it now that he’s passed away.

Another good ‘say what you need to say’ starter is “I’m sorry.” Just say it already and mean it. Let go of ego and pride and acknowledge we all make mistakes. We’re human. A simple ‘I’m sorry’ can mend many relationships.

My husband and I learned early on in our marriage that the way we talk to each other in front of others made a huge impact on our relationship. We had a habit of cutting each other down or criticizing each other in front of our friends. We both recognized it and said how hurtful it was. We made a pact not to do it anymore. What a difference it made in the marriage. It was huge. (Not to say we don’t slip up every now and then cause, you know, we are human.)

Finally, I’ve noticed some people have a hard time looking others in the eyes when they talk to them. Give others your full attention. Put down your phones, turn off the TV and be present. Look at others. You can practice this when you are out in public. Greet people with a genuine smile, look them in the eyes and say hello. Practice on strangers though so you’ll get it right with those you know. LOL.

Saying what you need to say feels good. When you say it in love, it helps you sleep at night.

God bless.-Barb