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Cutting Each Other Down

photo of scissors on blue surface

This week we’re talking about two kinds of people: those who are lifting others up and those who are cutting each other down. Which one are you?

It’s really a silly question, because at different times in our lives, we can be both. I remember when my husband and I were first married. It wasn’t long after the honeymoon phase when we started firing little quips at each other and cutting each other down for this or that. We let each other know that we weren’t meeting each others expectations. It wasn’t pretty.

After a while, we started cutting each other down in front of our friends and family, making jokes about each other. It started out as harmless banter but soon turned into hurt feelings on both sides. Our poor friends and family didn’t say anything, but I’m sure they didn’t want to hear how we were disappointing each other!

The Aha Moment

It finally came to a halt one day when he said something that hurt my feelings and then I fired off something to try to top it and I realized just what I was doing. It was like a light bulb went off. We both were hurt by the way we were cutting each other down. So we decided to make a pact that we would never say mean or hurtful things like that to each other or in front of our family or friends again and the rest is history.

Once we stopped cutting each other down and started working on building each other up, it was amazing. Our relationship improved. We started loving each other better and the little annoyances went away. (well, let’s just say they don’t bother me as much, lol.)

Isn’t it funny how our expectations of other people and their shortcomings can drive us to say unkind things? How can we change that? –With love and learning to look for the good in each other instead of focusing on their lack.

Building each other up should be our goal. Showing others how good they make you feel and pointing out their good qualities. Helping each other feel good about themselves is the way to improve relationships. Could you imagine if politicians came on tv and had commercials that only built each other up?

Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, as indeed you do.

I Thessalonians 5:11

Action Steps

So how do we build others up? We just decide to say positive, uplifting things to and about them. Cutting others down is a bad habit to break, but it can be done. You just begin. We’re coming to the end of my 21 day ‘Make It a Great Day Challenge.’ How are you doing? Are you still appreciating others? Are you making other people’s days great? Hang in there, we still have 7 days to go! Keep going!

Building others up through appreciation is so rewarding. It makes you feel good and those who feel appreciated feel good, too. We are growing in holiness, friends.

Thanks so much for following along. I appreciate you. If you appreciate this, please share with your friends and family:). Make it a great day.

God bless.–Barb


Wife, mother, church secretary, seamstress, child of God.

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