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The Don’ts Before I Do

woman wearing a white wedding gown

It’s wedding season and I thought I’d write a fun post about the do’s and don’ts of weddings. As a church secretary for over 12 years, I’ve seen a few weddings in my day. We have over 40 in our family of parishes this year alone. I can give you quite a few don’ts before I do.

Every now and then I get the opportunity to help out with a wedding at my church. Although, I admit, I’m not a very good wedding coordinator because I don’t get into all the fluff and stuff of weddings. It’s just not my thing. There’s too much ‘I do’ in the little things.

Today, weddings have become more about the party and the celebration and less about the actual vows. That could be why more than 60% of marriages end in divorce, just saying. So here are a few don’ts before ‘I do’.

Wedding Tip Don’ts

-Don’t get a cathedral length dress and/or veil. It was great for Princess Diana and her 3 minute walk down the aisle of a cathedral, but they’re so heavy and they are hard to maneuver! They get caught on everything. You’ll break a sweat and spend way too much time trying to figure out how to walk your way around the church during and after the ceremony. Yes, it’s pretty for that 1 minute you are walking down the aisle and self portraits, so why not buy a shorter dress for the ceremony? You can rent or borrow a cathedral length for some pre-wedding photos.

-Don’t skip the flowers. Flowers are essential adornments for the altars of the church. Weddings are expensive, yes, but flowers are a gift for God.

-Stay away from glitter and sequins! Most dresses leave more glitter in the pews than on the dress. You’ll be eating it, and wearing it on your face all night long. I’ve seen sequin dresses draw blood under the armpits.

-Don’t drink alcohol before the wedding. If you really need a few drinks to say ‘I do’, you might want to rethink. If you get stressed out about everything, you need to let go of some of the drama. There’s a time to celebrate.–at the reception.

-Don’t show up late to your own wedding! Have a wedding planner or coordinator keep you on task. It is rude to your guests and stressful for your future spouse. Plan ahead, be prepared.

-Skip the dramatic effects. I remember one wedding, where the couple released two white doves after the ceremony. The doves flew out of the cage and under two cars parked in front of the church.

Wedding Tip Do’s

-Limit the number of people in the wedding party. 10 bridesmaids, really? Your friends don’t really need that expense. All you really need is one other person up there to hold the bouquet, and one to hold the rings. Your friends can still ride the party bus after the ceremony. The focus should be on the two of you, not the girls adjusting the straps of the dress that doesn’t fit them right or the groomsmen about to pass out from anxiety and alcohol.

-Speak loudly and clearly. Say those vows so everyone can hear how beautiful they are and how much you love each other. This is the beginning of a new life together, just the two of you.

Let’s get back to weddings that are focused on God and the couple and the joining of two lives that become one and not all the other fluff. Let’s leave that stuff for the reception. Too many people want to have the fairy tale wedding, and that’s just not realistic. Those weddings need to stay in the books where they were created.

If you are planning a wedding or know someone who is, I hope you share these little tidbits. Save them some money, and their friends, too. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Happy planning! Thanks for following along. I appreciate you. God bless.–Barb


Wife, mother, church secretary, seamstress, child of God.

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